Human?
by eddrf
Summary: Rewritten! Is Shepard a human? is he a monster? Tali and everyones favourite spectre talk about cybernetics, and makes discoveries about eachother. Oneshot Tali/M!shep Set before he and Tali became involved. New and improved rewritten version in Chapter 2. original in chapter 1.
1. Chapter 1

Note: This takes place before Shepard and Tali become romantically involved.

Also I cant remember if you recruit Samara before Tali but if you do then assume she preferred living in the crew quarters, or sharing a room with Thane so they could be all philosophical all the time.

Another lump..this wasn't good

Gunshots were normally something you either died or was wounded by, Shepard had to suppress a shudder.

He felt the lump, gently pulsing, warm to the touch like a tumor.

Gunshots made him stronger, the lumps formed under his skin were composed of nano-machines, They broke down the bullet and used the material for repairs and improvements of his body, Sub dermal Armour! hypercritical-thought-enhancers! even microscopic kill bots that had begun replacing his immune system.

The lump would disappear in a few days, Shepard knew that, it didn't ease his concerns.

The door opened, The light blinded him, he didn't close his eyes though, He relished these opportunities when he knew for sure he wasn't an invincible killing machine..no..monster

The observation lounge was to his right he intended to do what he always did during lunch hours, Staring at the closest star until he went blind.

that is until his body repaired the damage.

Perfect, invincible, evolution of mankind, The next step.

He never felt like any of these, at most an abomination, corrupted by tech, replaced by tech! did he have a soul? was he a monster like the collectors Mordin described?

No these thoughts were unfit for a spectre, he was still human, a mech could glare at a star without damage, he couldn't, he wasn't a mech, was he?

"There that should do it" Tali muttered, after being kicked out from Jacks hole the only other place safe from Shepard's roaming was this place, normally locked for some reason.

She lifted her arm to attach the limb to it's joint. The door opened! she turned her head, nearly dropping the cybernetic limb in surprise.

It was Shepard! She was both elated and scared at his arrival, it was no secret Shepard despised his modifications especially since he never asked for them. Humans in general were reluctant to have cybernetic enhancements

Quarians were different, an arm could be utilized more effectively if it was robotic, less area exposed in case of a suit-breach, less bio matter to feed.

She feared making her attachments known, he would be disgusted, throw her of the ship maybe!

The fact that she chose her enchancments was another problem.

What would _he_ think?

The spectre hadn't noticed her, he stood by the window, Why? he would be blinded! some bosh'tet had deactivated the sun-shield and only Tali's visor was hardened against direct solar radiation in the room.

She rose, still holding the arm, she watched silently as Shepard stared at the sun. She noticed his hands were clasped in front of his waist, fingers frantically running over each other, as if trying to punish the limbs.

this was unlike Tali's wringing, this was harsh his hands were becoming raw and the skin was stretched, hard, The normal white of human knuckles was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a dull gray sheen.

"Shepard.." she asked quietly, she wouldn't, couldn't let him look out the window unknowing of the danger. Even if her warning resulted in him forever viewing her as the very thing he despised.

He whirled around in surprise, tears flung themselves across the room, his eyes were blood-red. These eyes belonged to a person in pain! she came to a shocking realization, he knew! he knew the sun-shield was down! There was no way he couldn't have felt that! and still he looked!

"Tali!" This was bad! anyone but her, he could care less about what any other crew-member thought but Her, He would never want her to know, to scare her away.

What was she holding? A long tube? With smaller appendages on one side, all covered in smooth synthskin. that can't be? she said that was an arm brace, a souvenir!

"Shepard! are you alright?, Keelah your eye's"

"Tali!" your arm! what happened?" Shepard could care less about his eyes, when did this happen? why didn't she tell him?

This couldn't be right...no look of revulsion, no disgusted grunt? just, concern? this was unlike all of the scenarios she had planned out in her head, he wasn't running away!

He cradled the arm in his hands,tenderly. she had nearly dropped it.

Tali saw tears flow from his eyes, unsure whether they were from the solar exposure or sadness, he ignored them and looked at her arm, then the socket in her shoulder.

"You..you too.." he gasped, a look of both relief and shock on his face. She nodded, that was all she could muster still concerned over his reaction, there was no reaction if any it was relief.

He sank down in the sofa next to her, still an arms-length away, she found herself longing to be closer to him, that was new.

"Why? shep? why did you stare out the window? you knew the shield was down didn't you?"

He sighed, somewhere inside a voice told him what he had been doing was wrong, he never listened to it until now. "I don't know? I just don't know..."

"But your eyes, you could have gone blind!"

He snapped "Don't you think I knew that!" Tali recoiled, this was not the easygoing grinning shepard she knew."I have gone completely blind 48 times! it takes approximetlly 1.48 minutes for my sight to be restored!"

" I cant go blind! I Can't Die, I can't die Tali, I took a rifle bullet to the face..my head, it went right through! you remember don't you!"

She did, it was after a fight with blue-suns mercenaries, a lone sniper had remained, Shepards shields had been down he had been shot right between his eyes and he just ignored it! just ran forward, he only noticed it after the blood trickling across his forehead reached his eyes.

Tali stroked Shepards cheek, a strange expression on his face devoid of happiness and sadness,"I just got up..kept going" He sighed, a long mournful sound, he looked at his knuckles, the small cracks in his skin had already disappeared, healed freakishly fast, just as the bruise from Legion.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you..but I just dont know.."

Tali leaned closer still. She didn't hold it against him.

"Am I a human? Tali? Do I qualify as a living being?" Tali frowned, this was new, he had always seemed so invincible, never had a crack in his exterior made itself known.

She knew now, he was as fallible as the rest of them. The galaxy on his shoulders, and it kept asking for more.

"You are John Shepard, you might not be normal but you are John Shepard, the human who gave me a pilgrimage gift, comforted me when my father died, you have saved and helped _everyone_ you have come across."

She stroked his cheek again, a faint smile on her lips. "You're not normal, you're better, the galaxy doesn't deserve you"

He kept staring at his knuckles..Tali frowned, she wasn't getting though to him.

"It was an accident, the airlock emergency release got nudged, my suit wasn't fully sealed." She pointed at her arm which Shepard was still holding and silently stroking with his thumb."I lost my arm that day, felt it freeze and crumple just as you felt your body do"

"Does that make _me_ a monster Shepard?"

He was broken from his reverie, Tali, a monster! hah she was far from it, although all the mercenaries missing their throats might have a differing opinion.

"No! Of course not!" He waved his arms defensibly, as if he had insulted her! If she was in any other environment his panicked flailing would have amused her greatly, but not now.

"Then you're not one either, as you told me when we met, ' I don't judge a book by its cover's'" Tali said, a fond tone making itself known.

She inched closer to him and picked up the arm he held like an injured kitten.

"You should remember what you say, my captain.."

With a loud click and some shaking the arm attached itself with a hiss.

She did have a point, he had to admit it.

"So you're okay with, me? Like this?" He gestured to his body with hands, hesitating over the point where a particle beam had burned a hole right through his Armour.

"Of-course you are incredible, stop being so pessimistic" She poked him playfully, eager to improve the atmosphere in the room"And I'm _very_, okaywith you like this." A hand went to her voice light, where did _that_ come from?

She was right, his father if he was alive would scold him for being so depressed, there really was no reason. He was alive! He had his crew, his..friends, family. A reason to live, be happy.

He smiled, a genuine smile that reached his eyes for the first time in a long while. He had to admit, he felt better than ever, the quarian beside him might have something to do with that though!

He wasn't normal, and now he was okay with that! For the first time, since he woke up he felt accepted, not feared or idolized, seen as an equal and it pleased him immensely.

He stretched his arms slightly, he noticed the subtle creaking of memory-metal in his arms, Tali watched interestedly at his arms, lazily flexing.

this was the arm that punched Saren, killed the avatar of a star-ship older than one can comprehend.

Punched a multiton Geth colossus into submission.

Shepard grinned

Oh yes, he wasn't normal.

He was better

Author note: by sun-shield I mean the windows ability to polarize, or make themselves varying levels of opaque, since there are many species with differing spectrum and harmful spectra of light I think all glass could block most frequencies, like the quarians, their windows would be as opaque as the suit visors if they didn't have said suits of course.

Since the Normandy is such a high tech vessel then this technology would be included I think.

Other than that C&C please!


	2. New version

Another lump..this wasn't good

Gunshots were normally something you either died from or survived, Shepard had to suppress a shudder.

He felt the lump, gently pulsing, warm to the touch like a tumor.

Gunshots made him stronger, the lumps formed under his skin were composed of nano-machines, They broke down the bullet and used the material for repairs and improvements of his body, Sub dermal Armour! hypercritical-thought-enhancers! even microscopic kill bots that had begun supplementing his immune system.

The lump would disappear in a few days, Shepard knew that, it didn't ease his concerns in the slightest.

The door opened, The light blinded him, he didn't close his eyes though, He relished these opportunities when he knew for sure he wasn't an invincible killing machine, no, a monster

The observation lounge was to his right. Shepard intended to occupy his lunch hours like every other day.

Staring at a star.

Perfect, invincible, evolution of mankind, The next step on the ladder of superiority.

Shepard never felt like any of these, at most an abomination, corrupted by tech, replaced by tech! did he have a soul? was he a monster like the collectors he had seen with the very same implants as him?

Reaper tech.

The thought coaxed a grim chuckle out of him as he sat down on the sofa. He was a walking reaper, probably indoctrinating everyone in range.

No wonder the team was so loyal, he couldn't see any other reason to follow the _undead_ butcher of torfan.

But he was still human, a mech could glare at a star without damage, their sensor arrays fit for the challenge.

That's why he had deactivated the radiation shielding on this particular window, to prove a point that his fragile psyche thought was rational.

His soft human eyes couldn't, not hard metal or cold plastic and glass. They were inferior, weak and primitive.

He loved them.

Maybe something could be done? Some kind of cure? Gradual removal of the invasive black presence soiling his body.

The auxiliary processors supplementing his fragile mind deemed such a plan unfeasible and relayed the information.

Shepard punched the table.

"There that should do it" Tali muttered as she walked the corridors of her new home.

Being a quarian cyborg had its disadvantages for sure Tali thought as she felt her right arm's joint beginning to fault and grind, sending unpleasant error messages directly into her brain.

It needed maintenance, again.

The young quarian looked around sheepishly, seeing no one around she detached the arm and sighed in delight as the messages stopped coming.

The small pricking pain wasn't hurting her, but it wasn't very enjoyable either, there really ought to be a way to turn them off.

She looked for a place to hide, and do her maintenance, engineering was busy at the moment but she supposed it was the best option even then.

Maybe she could find a nice vent to do tinkering, Tali liked the cozy shafts.

She left the life support room and walked towards the elevator.

Then she notice the observation lounge was unlocked, the green circle on the door shining brightly, taking the place of its red companion.

She frowned, walking forward towards the offending passageway. Shepard had strictly ordered the crew to keep out of the lounges

It was Shepard! She was both elated and scared at his arrival, it was no secret Shepard despised his modifications especially since he never asked for them. Humans in general were reluctant to have cybernetic enhancements

Quarians were different, an arm could be utilized more effectively if it was robotic, less area exposed in case of a suit-breach, less bio matter to feed.

She knew there were full body cyborgs on the fleet even, synthskin capable of weathering any bacteria, scent sensor able to smell and enjoy just as well as an organic nose. Lips that could kiss and laugh and eat whenever and however the user wanted.

She envied them.

But despite that, Tali feared making her attachments known, he would be disgusted, throw her of the ship maybe.

The fact that she chose her enhancements was another problem.

What would _he_ think?

The spectre hadn't noticed her, he stood by the window, Why? he would be blinded! some bosh'tet had deactivated the sun-shield and only Tali's visor was hardened against direct solar radiation in the room.

She rose, still holding the arm, watching silently as Shepard stared at the sun. She noticed his hands were clasped in front of his waist, fingers frantically running over each other, as if trying to punish the limbs.

this was unlike Tali's wringing, this was harsh his hands were becoming raw and the skin was stretched, hard, The normal white of human knuckles was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a dull gray sheen.

"Shepard.." she asked quietly, she wouldn't, couldn't let him look out the window unknowing of the danger. Even if her warning resulted in him forever viewing her as the very thing he despised.

He whirled around in surprise, tears flung themselves across the room, his eyes were blood-red. These eyes belonged to a person in pain! she came to a shocking realization, he knew! he knew the sun-shield was down! There was no way he couldn't have felt that. and still he looked!

"Tali!" This was bad! anyone but her, he could care less about what any other crew-member thought but Her, He would never want her to know, to scare her away.

What was she holding? A long tube? With smaller cords on one side, all covered in smooth synthskin. Her armbrace? But, it.

It was her arm.

"Shepard! are you alright?, Keelah your eyes"

"Tali!" your arm! what happened?" Shepard could care less about his eyes, when did this happen? why didn't she tell him?

This couldn't be right...no look of revulsion, no disgusted grunt? just, concern? this was unlike all of the scenarios she had planned out in her head, he wasn't running away Tali thought.

He cradled the arm in his hands,tenderly. she had nearly dropped it.

Tali saw tears flow from his eyes, unsure whether they were from the solar exposure or sadness, he ignored them and looked at her arm, then the socket in her shoulder.

"You..you too.." he gasped, a look of both relief and shock on his face. She nodded, that was all she could muster, still concerned over his reaction or rather, absence of one if anything it was relief.

He sank down in the sofa next to her, still an arms-length away, she found herself longing to be closer to him, that was new.

"Why? shep? why did you stare out the window? you knew the shield was down didn't you?"

He sighed, somewhere inside a voice told him what he had been doing was wrong, he never listened to it until now. "I don't know? I just don't know..."

"But your eyes, you could have gone blind!"

He snapped "Don't you think I knew that!" Tali recoiled, this was not the easygoing grinning Shepard she knew."I have gone completely blind 48 times! it takes approximately 1.48 minutes for my sight to be restored!"

" I cant go blind! I Can't Die, I can't die Tali, I took a rifle bullet to the face..my head, it went right through! you remember don't you!" the man pleaded. His mind unraveling in front of her eyes.

She did remember, it was after a fight with blue-suns mercenaries, a lone sniper had remained seated on his perch, unseen. Shepard's shields had been down and recharging.

The turian had shot him right between the eyes and Shepard just ignored it! just ran forward with that haunting, dead look and killed the sniper. He had only noticed the bullet hole after the blood trickling across his forehead reached his eyes and impeded their vision.

But this was wrong, Shepard. John. John had never snapped at her. When he was mad he remained silent, for the most part.

Something was terribly wrong with her favorite specter.

Tali stroked Shepards cheek, a strange expression on his face devoid of both happiness and sadness,"I just got up..kept going" He sighed, a long mournful sound, he looked at his knuckles, the small cracks in his skin had already disappeared, healed freakishly fast, just as the bruise from Legion.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you..but I just don't know.."

Tali leaned closer still. She didn't hold it against him.

"_Am _I a human? Tali? Do I qualify as a living being?" Tali frowned, this was new, he had always seemed so invincible, never had a crack in his exterior made itself known.

She knew now, he was fallible, like the rest of them. The galaxy on his shoulders, and it kept asking for more.

"You are John Shepard, you might not be normal but you are John Shepard, the human who gave me a pilgrimage gift, comforted me when my father died, you have saved and helped _everyone_ you have come across."

She stroked his cheek again, a faint smile on her lips. "You're not normal, you're better, the galaxy doesn't deserve you"

He kept staring at his knuckles..Tali frowned, she wasn't getting though to him.

"It was an accident, my suit wasn't fully sealed." She pointed at her arm which Shepard was still holding and silently stroking with his thumb."I lost my arm to infection that day. I watched it rot and crumble for weeks. When I got my new arm, I loved it. I love it." her robotic hand closed over Shepard's own.

"Does that make _me_ a monster Shepard?"

He was broken from his reverie, Tali, a monster she was far from it, although all the mercenaries missing their throats might have a differing opinion.

"No! Of course not!" he suddenly spoke up, as if he had insulted her. If Tali was in any other environment his panicked flailing would have amused her greatly, but not now.

"Then you're not one either, as you told me when we met, ' I don't judge a book by its covers'" Tali said, a fond tone making itself known in her voice.

She inched closer to him and picked up the arm he held like an injured kitten.

"You should remember what you say, my captain.."

With a loud click and some shaking the arm attached itself with a hiss, like a glove.

She did have a point, he had to admit it.

"So you're okay with, me? Like this?" He gestured to his body with hands, hesitating over the point where a particle beam had burned a hole right through his Armour, and his chest.

"Of-course you are incredible, stop being so pessimistic" She poked him playfully, eager to improve the atmosphere in the room"And I'm _very_, okaywith you like this." A hand went to her voice light, where did _that_ come from?

She was right, his father if he was alive would scold him for being so depressed, not that it would help. But there really was no reason. He was alive! He had his crew, his..friends, family. A reason to live, be happy.

He had Tali.

He smiled, a genuine smile that reached his eyes for the first time in a long while. He had to admit, he felt better than ever, the quarian beside him might have something to do with that, he mused.

He wasn't normal, and now he was okay with that! For the first time, since he woke up he felt accepted, not feared or idolized, seen as an equal and it pleased him immensely

He stretched his arms slightly, he noticed the subtle creaking of memory-metal in his arms, Tali watched interestedly at his arms, lazily flexing.

this was the arm that punched Saren, killed the avatar of a star-ship older than one can comprehend.

Punched a multiton Geth colossus into submission, ripped the guts out of a husk.

Shepard grinned slightly.

Oh yes, he wasn't normal.

He was better

**That's it. I hope you enjoyed this rewrite, review and leave feedback and so on. have a good day!**


End file.
